When I am thinking it have been so long that I never talk with him, I suddenly miss him so much... Donno what he is doing nowadays? Does he thinking about me also? Suddenly my phone rang, I received a sms. And it was from him! I was so happy that he is having the same thought as mine, and although it is just simple "Hi how r u? How have u been nowadays? Got a new target already? got any news to update?" but those sentences can make me very happy.

I really donno y le.... Sometimes, I can stop thinking about him, sometimes, I can think about him for one day... When my friends bring up about him, wat I mean is, asked for his news, I started to think the past that we had.... And almost back to regret tat we didnt meant for each other... I still blame myself that I didnt accept him back then though... But who told him that being so gay~ I tot he used me for being a member of a sun-rider. Haha~!

But now past is my past. I see the present now.. altot not very clear but still it is my own road to go......

My Feelings are the same~

Suddenly I have think of one story that I can write it down but then I cannot come with a good english...

I don really know wat is blog means, but I knew this is the place where I can write down all my feelings in it. I..... During these 3 days of holiday, I have been wasting my time surfing the net, watching tv and animations and during the last day, that is yesterday, I watched "Tai Cheong Kam". Hehe~!! Old worms getting to my nerve oledi... ^^

But during these 3 days I also did have some time to think about him. I oso donno y? Sue Ling asked me to forget about him, as he is not worth of my love, but then I do not know why I still thinking about him? Maybe I am too stubborn. I tried to switch my brain to think somebody else, but it is only for awhile whatever I am thinking it will automatically lead me back to the memories I had had with him.

Does my way of thinking is wrong? I am always thought that if I keep on thinking about him, maybe I will become nun. Haha! Because I don 1 2 open my heart to somebody else, and nobody would love me anyway, until I get back a good figure or something. I am trying so hard to keep my diet, but temptation always on the way. But then I will try my best! Ganbaru yo~!!

I do not hope that he knows wat I am thinking now, bcos he will feel regret from wat he did to me last time, and I have choosed to neglect him all the time. I remembered those days when I needed him when I am so depressed and sad. But those days are over, as I will be on my own now, walking down the road without him. Oh, maybe sometimes, we will walk together, but then it is only for awhile.....

Best friends and Lover...

I was watching an anime last night and suddenly I think of him. I oso donno y.. Is it because the anime did talked about best friend being fall in love? I mean, it is exactly how I was felt last time. Kazuki and Yuuji have known each other since from young, unfortunately he had moved to other town. Kazuki had waited for her one-sided first love until he came back at last, he turns out to be a pervert. Kazuki hate him for that and at the same time, she try to get to know more of him. Chihara, her best fren too, understands him than herself. Kazuki is jealous, and felt being left out, she fight with Yuuji, and want to break off their friendship.

Everything is almost the same, except the moving to town and being a pervert. He is just move to Singapore, and later will move to JB by the end of the year, and I will not see him again UNLESS i can make it to singapore.

BUt now, our gap are so big since from the relationship we had last time, and I understand that it is my faults too. I am the ONE who ignore everybody, and now I am the ONE who is complaining about our gap. I am hoping that we can be best friends again although I want more than that kind of relationship as he is important to me. Although we are not capable to become couples, at least still he can be my best friends, and that is the only way I still can see him.

Oh god, I hate to confess this myself, I still love him. But fate does not join us, and we are fated only to be friends. Luckily he do not know this blog of mine, and he wont get to see this. ^^