Whoever Can help me NOW?

I am starting not being myself again~

I also donno y I am like that liao~

I always feel jealous, feel angry with everyone else, and also with myself too. I cannot control myself doing such things, but then I am hating myself for doing like tat le..

Maybe I give myself a lot of pressures and also unnecessary thoughts, I become another side of me.

NOW, I always think of negative things~

I always look down upon other people

I like to “cucuk” people behind

I am so sad u know~ I worked so happy until there is a table/ customers always requested other person than me especially if they asked for Angie.

I felt horrible. I felt I have lost. I felt sad n upset.

Who don’t?

No matter how good services you have given to a customer, your look is not that pretty that is means not pretty. I not try it once, but many times, Even, the guy that I mentioned earlier, also said Angie pretty.

Said me jealous la~ said me envy la~

This kind of impact, I shall never recover back anytime.

I hate myself looking like this.

I hate myself not to take care of myself.

I hate myself for treating my friends that bad,

I hate myself for being selfish.

Angie did not did anything wrong. The ONLY WRONG is ME! Even the new guy in the office also likes to talk to Angie. I’ve changed, changed to someone that I also didn’t even know… it’s too late to save me back from the dark hole, and I never shall come back again~

I’ve fallen in love with someone again that I am not supposed to fall in love. His name is Alex Lee. He is 30 years old, older than me 5 years His character have attracted me from the 1^st day I knew him, but then we will stay as best friends but not more than that. If he wanna choose also, it won’t be ME. There are hundreds of girls that he can choose from me, but why me?? I wouldn’t hope for that, but I am suffering here for not telling him tat.

Everytime when I saw him at working place, I will smiled, I will laughed. My hearts beat fast when he is around me. I am jealous when other girls talk with him.

BUT WAT CAN I DO?

I cannot go there and tell him I like him….

WAT SHALL I DO?

Become his best friend is the best thing I can do now…

WHO AM I?

A fat, selfish and hating myself who cannot controlled her feelings….