It has been 2 days after that nite that I didn't received any messages from him.. no calls, no sms....
And in these 2 days I am sitting alone in the house, thinking what he is doing rite now?
I miss him a lot, really a lot, wondering whether did he miss me too? I stared at the ceiling, thinking the days we spend together since he came back, and I still find it awkward to be with him, without being myself after all? Where is my REAL self, I asked myself...
N 2day I went to Pasar Malam, wondering if I cud see him around, and knowing that I am wasting my time, I knew that I wont get to see him at the pasar malam, but still I didnt put my hope down till it is time to go back home. 1 round, 2 rounds, 3 rounds, even I walked 4 the 4th round, I still cant see him, so I went back home without any foods in my stomach, feeling not hungry at all & sad..
Y I didnt make a move 1st to sms/call him? i do not dare... I am afraid that I will disturb him during his times wid his family, I am afraid I will make him uncomfortable when he is wid his friends. I knew these 2 weeks stay is to accompany his mother & to spend more time with her, so I tried to keep my hands wrapped to myself, trying not to call/sms him, looking at the phone each times, afraid there is a call tat I missed. I cant stop myself thinking about him, and 2nite I only send him a "I miss u" note.. but he didnt even reply me.
Am I am too annoying? I did ask myself, whether am I disturbing someone to get myself in the center of attention? I do not know about that, but I only knew that time is short, n I want to spend more time with him and I do not know that it's overwhelm me.....
2 more days, going to b my birthday. I declined all the invitations, just to wait for him to invite me to get it celebrate with him. And I think My 1st b'day with him is only just a dream... =(
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