Restless

Here I am, still staying awake, in front of my pc and my eyes don 1 2 rest.
I am still thinking about the conversations I had had with him, n it makes me feeling uneasy. Firstly, I am angry at him for telling me to shut up, n ask me to not disturb him. I scolded him back with foul languages, n tell him that I wud not contact him anymore. When I come to think of it, he is really strange today. My mind ringing alarm telling me that he maybe in a bad mood.

But that doesn't mean that he can say that words to me. If he is really in a bad mood, y don he just tell me? Not throwing that kind of words to me. I am not rubbish bin. I maybe not mind of wat my frens says about me, but then everyone has it own limit. N i knew he got too. Please b honest and tell me wat is really going on there?
If he want to test me, pls stop. I cant stand another day torturing myself thinking about him. If he want for break up, please tell me so. We still can be friends.

Writing blog had me addicted. Thanks to the blog, I can pour in my feelings in here, and I knew there is no one will read my blog. I do not have the special place to pour my feelings in anymore. I can't tell my parents as they will worry about me. And in here, I can say watever I want. I don 1 2 mind or care wat does other ppl feel when they read it here, as they never care of how I am gonna feel.

To make a person happier, one need to sacrifice himself/herself. I sacrificed myself by making myself as a joke wanting to make a smile on my friends face. And to make him happy, I would have sacrifice myself too. It is just that I felt dumb when come to face my loves one. There is nothing would be happier than seeing someone that u love to be happy.

P/s: Maybe he would be unhappy I write all these in this blog, but I wanna tell him that I am sorry, I cant stop myself from typing out the words that express on how & wat I am feeling rite now. Maybe he is unhappy, bcos he did not expected that the girl he once knew has change to some1 that he really doesnt know. I treat my friends differently than treating my bf.