Since from Wednesday, I am trying to avoid all the calls n sms I received. I didnt answer anyone's calls, as I find myself not feeling want to talk to them anymore~
But that Jimmy Teh, keep calling everyday, from day to nite, jus want me to answer the phone, but I keep insisting I don want to answer him. We had nothing to talk anyway, it just a bit chit chat~
I oso don understand, last time when we still dated each other, he never call me like this. Although he move to Klang, but he still trying to avoid to call me always. Now when we were friends, y he keep calling me? Last time, I spend all my money for my phone, but now he willingly to call me each time. I do not understand~
But the one I want to see to appear in my phone did not call me or sms me. When I am online, I put myself to "Appear Offline" mode, n I did saw him there. I wanted so much to talk to him, but I get hold of myself, n just sit here until he offline at last. Even I change my place to write my blog! I dont want him to know that I got online, and update my blog but didnt chat with him earlier on.
I am torturing myself. I oso do not know why I did that to myself. I want to know how much he cares about me. At least that little bit of feeling of care for me oso enof~ But no, he didnt.
I oso do not know what I want from him, n I also donno wat am I waiting for? Me n him have no more, n that is da truth~ But I cannot bear it... Although I told him that I didnt mind to become friends and to forgive him, but still in the end, I am the one who cannot let it down. I am sad, really sad~
Y he need to treat me this way?
Y I didnt accept him at the first place b4 he went to Singapore?
N y he play with my feelings?
What he had promised me is jus like a blank paper. He promised me he will be his best to become my bf, but y he want to break tat promise?
I really really regret I didnt accept his offer at the 1st place, bcos I scare I will hurt him, n I also scare that we cannot even be friends~
I cannot help to stop thinking this way~ It is not his faults. He oso don want to be that way~ and I need to stop thinking about him~ oh god~ please don play me again.. I cannot bear anymore if the same thing happens again~ My heart, for real will break into pieces.. I do not dare to love anyone anymore~
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Arguements
When we argue with someone, all sorts of words will come out from our mouth. Either it is foul languages, or make that person madder..
Yesterday, I didnt argue with that lady, but the lady's mouth are so poisoning, makes me feel uncomfortable. I wore the blue "Bali" dress which is kinda sexy, the front part kinda drop down, so I wore another one in it. I like the dress very much, n it did show me kinda sexy~ in spite of my Ehem~ body figure~ *^_^* *blush*
But that Ah Yong (that lady name) said that I wore it purposely to show off my breasts. I tot she was joking, so i don really mind bcos we usually talk in tat way~ But from wat she sound, she is not joking, but sound like really "chai" me~ I felt nothing to say jor, so I went out after tat
N since that, I went in n go out after I did my work, not feeling like want to talk to them anymore. Whatever I said is wrong, they felt like I am trying to 'tat jui" them. But I am not~ they misunderstand me~
This morning, Ah yong had had a chit chat with Angie. She told Angie that Y'day my face is dark (unhappy) n she tot that I had fought with Judy again. She didnt know that it is her who make me turn to tat face or just pretend not to know. Then she told Angie also, that I had told her that I want to quit~ =.="
Wat a big mouth she had~ she had promised me not to say it out n now~ =.="
Never gonna tell her anything some more~
So wat I wear that kind of clothes? I wish to be ma~ but I knew she said oso for my own good, but somehow, y'day i cannot accepted wat she had said altot it is a joke. I tell myself from today onwards, I will wear like tat everyday if possible~
Yesterday, I didnt argue with that lady, but the lady's mouth are so poisoning, makes me feel uncomfortable. I wore the blue "Bali" dress which is kinda sexy, the front part kinda drop down, so I wore another one in it. I like the dress very much, n it did show me kinda sexy~ in spite of my Ehem~ body figure~ *^_^* *blush*
But that Ah Yong (that lady name) said that I wore it purposely to show off my breasts. I tot she was joking, so i don really mind bcos we usually talk in tat way~ But from wat she sound, she is not joking, but sound like really "chai" me~ I felt nothing to say jor, so I went out after tat
N since that, I went in n go out after I did my work, not feeling like want to talk to them anymore. Whatever I said is wrong, they felt like I am trying to 'tat jui" them. But I am not~ they misunderstand me~
This morning, Ah yong had had a chit chat with Angie. She told Angie that Y'day my face is dark (unhappy) n she tot that I had fought with Judy again. She didnt know that it is her who make me turn to tat face or just pretend not to know. Then she told Angie also, that I had told her that I want to quit~ =.="
Wat a big mouth she had~ she had promised me not to say it out n now~ =.="
Never gonna tell her anything some more~
So wat I wear that kind of clothes? I wish to be ma~ but I knew she said oso for my own good, but somehow, y'day i cannot accepted wat she had said altot it is a joke. I tell myself from today onwards, I will wear like tat everyday if possible~
Sunday, July 22, 2007
~My Love Story~
Who have never fall in love before? Everyone did, I don care whether it is secretly or not. Still, we all have fallen in love b4.
Do u trust love in first sight? Do u believe tat first love will not success?
Hmm.. I talked like seem I know a lot in this matter. I don't. It is just my opinion.
When I first admired someone, that is 10 years ago, where I started to learn about boys. Funny~ when I was in primary school, I always fight with boys. Fighting with them doesn't mean I hate them, but it was only for funs. When I step out from the world of childhood to teenager, that was when I start to learn to love someone. I admired few peoples back then, but never did once I said it out as I knew they didn't like me as I did. And the most important is, who will ever like a fat girl like me? But admire left to be admire, till the time I left the school.
I dated one guy after another, n never once I felt being love. Who cares about me? They only want what they wanted from me. The longest one, was 2 years relationship, n that I also have broke it up. Not that I didn't love him, I did, it just that... (paused) who am I? He didn't like me for who I am, n that is y we broke up. I know they did not love me, but I didn't regret to start that relationship, because from the start, I knew they didn't love me. So I always ended not being hurt at all. Silly me, I thought I could find someone that can love me, but who am I?
They hurt me again n again, and I never complain. I did not know who is my first love, n I didn't believe love in first sight. N if I do, probably it is only me who fall in love first. My love never return to me. My heart is shattered into pieces, feeling lonely and hopeless to this world of "Love". I never wanted to play this game again.
Although your arrival into my world, have only brighten my sky for awhile, but I never hate you. Not all are your wrongs, I did wrong too and I am sorry for that. You still will be my friend, n forever it will. U cheer me up when I was down, n U r the one b with me when I am sad. And I want to be the same to u too. I'll treasure our friendship and together we go through this.
Restless
Here I am, still staying awake, in front of my pc and my eyes don 1 2 rest.
I am still thinking about the conversations I had had with him, n it makes me feeling uneasy. Firstly, I am angry at him for telling me to shut up, n ask me to not disturb him. I scolded him back with foul languages, n tell him that I wud not contact him anymore. When I come to think of it, he is really strange today. My mind ringing alarm telling me that he maybe in a bad mood.
But that doesn't mean that he can say that words to me. If he is really in a bad mood, y don he just tell me? Not throwing that kind of words to me. I am not rubbish bin. I maybe not mind of wat my frens says about me, but then everyone has it own limit. N i knew he got too. Please b honest and tell me wat is really going on there?
If he want to test me, pls stop. I cant stand another day torturing myself thinking about him. If he want for break up, please tell me so. We still can be friends.
Writing blog had me addicted. Thanks to the blog, I can pour in my feelings in here, and I knew there is no one will read my blog. I do not have the special place to pour my feelings in anymore. I can't tell my parents as they will worry about me. And in here, I can say watever I want. I don 1 2 mind or care wat does other ppl feel when they read it here, as they never care of how I am gonna feel.
To make a person happier, one need to sacrifice himself/herself. I sacrificed myself by making myself as a joke wanting to make a smile on my friends face. And to make him happy, I would have sacrifice myself too. It is just that I felt dumb when come to face my loves one. There is nothing would be happier than seeing someone that u love to be happy.
P/s: Maybe he would be unhappy I write all these in this blog, but I wanna tell him that I am sorry, I cant stop myself from typing out the words that express on how & wat I am feeling rite now. Maybe he is unhappy, bcos he did not expected that the girl he once knew has change to some1 that he really doesnt know. I treat my friends differently than treating my bf.
The World R so Cruel
I just read the newspaper today, n I read the front news. I think u guys have heard of this news b4. Jess Teh n her bf, killed her daughter, n lodged a false report to find her daughter back. I found it is so cruel, either to the girl, or to her family. Y this must be happened to her? She is so innocent. Bcos of her mum's guilt, she need to suffer from it. Thanks to the magistrate that they sentence death penalty to the selfish n heartless guy. Jess didnt kill her daughter at all, she only found guilty for having morphine in her house. And I don think that she is going to lead a good life for her rest of her life, as for me, she kill her daughter with her very own hand.
R this world had lost it's warm n humanity society? I felt the world is not safe anymore, with all these bad guys around, but y this bad guys appeared so suddenly since 3~4 years ago? Everything, can turn a good person to a bad one.
I love Malaysia, but does Malaysia love us?
Feeling Totally Useless
I felt totally useless. I never did something rite! I cant study properly, I cant do work properly, I never become some1 good frens properly, or even someone gf too. Now I even did not drive properly. Jus now, when i came back from work, n my dad ask me to reverse the car in. I told him I cant reverse as I never do any reverse b4. He bad temperly scolded me for being a stupid and not using my brain. Yes, I am agreed I am stupid. But not I want it to... I want to be smarter u know, it jus tat, it's not in my genes.
Now I want to continue my study, n now I am giving it a second thought. If I continue my study, then wud I end up being stressful, n give it up in half way? I want to be smarter, and somehow I want them to be proud of me. Not by saying how stupid I am and everything.
This is when I wish myself that cud be reborn again.I start my life new from beginning. I want to become a sociable, smart and pretty girl. Not becoming a sociable (ppl called it "fat hao"), stupid, fat and ugly girl. I realize who I am. And I am proud of being who I am now. It jus tat, society wudnt accept me for being who I am.
Can I turn things better? Can I lead a better life? Cud I do something to improve it than sitting in front of my pc, writing in the blog telling it how I can make my life better?
Suddenly I felt so alone...
No one will help me except myself. And no one will help me if I keep feeling sorry for myself. But I cant help myself if I only have my limitation. Where is my limit? I do not know. Now i only know, I do not even understand myself as much as I think I wud b.
I am REALLY USELESS.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Playing? fun or not ah?
Is it very fun to play other ppl feeling?
How wud u feel when that person ignore u for for days? Not even a sms, or calls, n when u ask that person, he told u, "I am just playing with u".
Let me tell u how it feels.
It feel sucks,
Pain,
n felt wanted to cry~
I am sitting here in this very room, thinking, wat have I did wrong to be treated in this way? Is he doubted my sincerity? Is he doubted my feelings for him is true? Or he feels tat I am playing with him?
Then Let me tell him, YES, YES, & YES!! I am not sincere, not true, n I am jus playing u. Satisfied ma?
Or is t just me for being oversensitive n overcared?
Yes, my reaction is horrible. I sudnt react like tat. I hate myself for behaving like tat. Really hate myself for that.
But I cant help it.... No one understands me y i did this way. Maybe he wont like it when he read my blog, but I really cant stop myself from pouring in my feelings into this blog where there is no one will be listen to it anymore. It's like my heart being tear by half.
Love is hurting ourself, don u agreed?
How wud u feel when that person ignore u for for days? Not even a sms, or calls, n when u ask that person, he told u, "I am just playing with u".
Let me tell u how it feels.
It feel sucks,
Pain,
n felt wanted to cry~
I am sitting here in this very room, thinking, wat have I did wrong to be treated in this way? Is he doubted my sincerity? Is he doubted my feelings for him is true? Or he feels tat I am playing with him?
Then Let me tell him, YES, YES, & YES!! I am not sincere, not true, n I am jus playing u. Satisfied ma?
Or is t just me for being oversensitive n overcared?
Yes, my reaction is horrible. I sudnt react like tat. I hate myself for behaving like tat. Really hate myself for that.
But I cant help it.... No one understands me y i did this way. Maybe he wont like it when he read my blog, but I really cant stop myself from pouring in my feelings into this blog where there is no one will be listen to it anymore. It's like my heart being tear by half.
Love is hurting ourself, don u agreed?
The worst of me~
2day I felt worse~
I had attended an interview at Berjaya Times Square, as an admin assist, and it had pulled me into a pit hole. Never felt this way b4. My self-confidence had broke down. Last time, whenever I attended an interview, it wud be not any problem at all for me as they briefly ask me ques, same ques over n over, n without any prob i passed all the test.
But today is different. This girl, called Shamine, was my interviewer, n she asked the job description since from the 1st one! I needed to tell wat I did n why do I leave. Until the latest one. I answered all with "la~ la~" at each sentences, my english is dead! I am going to faint. In that interview, it really did teach me something~ I need to push me up! I am going to further my study no matter how much it is going to cost me. My knowledge is so little, and I felt I am lost to my sister n cousin. How many years of experience oso no use!!!
Now I found that how far is my knowledge is, and I cant give this an easy task for me to go. Go Jessie~!! U can do it! I wanted to achieve something that once in my life that I wont regretted.
Go! Go! Go!! =D
I had attended an interview at Berjaya Times Square, as an admin assist, and it had pulled me into a pit hole. Never felt this way b4. My self-confidence had broke down. Last time, whenever I attended an interview, it wud be not any problem at all for me as they briefly ask me ques, same ques over n over, n without any prob i passed all the test.
But today is different. This girl, called Shamine, was my interviewer, n she asked the job description since from the 1st one! I needed to tell wat I did n why do I leave. Until the latest one. I answered all with "la~ la~" at each sentences, my english is dead! I am going to faint. In that interview, it really did teach me something~ I need to push me up! I am going to further my study no matter how much it is going to cost me. My knowledge is so little, and I felt I am lost to my sister n cousin. How many years of experience oso no use!!!
Now I found that how far is my knowledge is, and I cant give this an easy task for me to go. Go Jessie~!! U can do it! I wanted to achieve something that once in my life that I wont regretted.
Go! Go! Go!! =D
Going to End soon~
The day is going to end soon~ N I am happy~ ^^
I am happy bcos Tai Lo remember my b'day, n he talked with me a lot, n I feel a lot more better after I talked to him. Even my ex-bf called me n tell me "Happy Birthday!" ^^
I LOVE my parents!! They exchange some points for a new webcam that I needed! We went to Midvalley and they had exchange a lot of things le, n they left some points for me. The Maybank Points Treat Fair r so fun~ Actually I am in a bad mood, but after hear they sing, *Poof!!* I felt want to dance in the middle of the room, rocking in my world~ Haha!! The singer not bad too~!! ^^
But too bad, the most wanted person that I love to spend my b'day wid is not here with me, making my b'day more cheerful n cherish. Instead it had bring me pains, and sadness. Whenever I am alone, I will begin to think about him. I am happy today, but donno y it seem...... different. 2 more mins, n my day is over, n 2molo is a new day~
I cried when I woke up, thinking a lot of possible things that might happened. Lastly, I cant hold myself, and send him a message asking y he need to be this cruel and treated me this way. If he wanted me to disappear, jus say a word, n I will. I refused all the invitations just wanted to spend this day with him. But just a sms wish of "Happy Birthday" , n I didnt heard from him since then. I did give him a call after that, but he is not at home.
Am I asking too much? Am I persisting? o.O If I do, then I am sorry le. If our status is still as a fren, then I wudnt make this happened like this. Who I am? I am jus ur fren. But our status is more than a fren, then I sud b angry n sad.
Dear,
If u happened to read my blog, I wanna tell u tat, I did not hate u, but really love u dearly. I know u want to spend more time with ur family, n tat is y I didnt ask much for your time. To watever u had promised me, I do not mind that u cudnt make it, as I know u will do it one day. Maybe we started not with a good beginning, but at least I want to know wat ur real heart says. it jus that There is not much time for us to spend with, and I want to get every seconds and mins with u b4 u go back. But the days that passed with silence without ur call/sms hurt me a lot. Don u ever miss me? Don u ever think want to see me?
I do....
I want to see u so much, but I hold myself
I want to hear ur voice, but I afraid that I disturb u (but u didnt ans any of my calls)
I miss u so much, and I am selfish, to think all these.
I am happy bcos Tai Lo remember my b'day, n he talked with me a lot, n I feel a lot more better after I talked to him. Even my ex-bf called me n tell me "Happy Birthday!" ^^
I LOVE my parents!! They exchange some points for a new webcam that I needed! We went to Midvalley and they had exchange a lot of things le, n they left some points for me. The Maybank Points Treat Fair r so fun~ Actually I am in a bad mood, but after hear they sing, *Poof!!* I felt want to dance in the middle of the room, rocking in my world~ Haha!! The singer not bad too~!! ^^
But too bad, the most wanted person that I love to spend my b'day wid is not here with me, making my b'day more cheerful n cherish. Instead it had bring me pains, and sadness. Whenever I am alone, I will begin to think about him. I am happy today, but donno y it seem......
I cried when I woke up, thinking a lot of possible things that might happened. Lastly, I cant hold myself, and send him a message asking y he need to be this cruel and treated me this way. If he wanted me to disappear, jus say a word, n I will. I refused all the invitations just wanted to spend this day with him. But just a sms wish of "Happy Birthday" , n I didnt heard from him since then. I did give him a call after that, but he is not at home.
Am I asking too much? Am I persisting? o.O If I do, then I am sorry le. If our status is still as a fren, then I wudnt make this happened like this. Who I am? I am jus ur fren. But our status is more than a fren, then I sud b angry n sad.
Dear,
If u happened to read my blog, I wanna tell u tat, I did not hate u, but really love u dearly. I know u want to spend more time with ur family, n tat is y I didnt ask much for your time. To watever u had promised me, I do not mind that u cudnt make it, as I know u will do it one day. Maybe we started not with a good beginning, but at least I want to know wat ur real heart says. it jus that There is not much time for us to spend with, and I want to get every seconds and mins with u b4 u go back. But the days that passed with silence without ur call/sms hurt me a lot. Don u ever miss me? Don u ever think want to see me?
I do....
I want to see u so much, but I hold myself
I want to hear ur voice, but I afraid that I disturb u (but u didnt ans any of my calls)
I miss u so much, and I am selfish, to think all these.
Happy Birthday!!
Happy Birthday To Me!!!! *Pop!* *Party strings flying everyway!* *champange being opened*
HOORAY!! One year older, n 6 more years to go to my golden years...
I am so happy this year... EVERYBODY remember my birthday!! Oh well, not everyone la~ Hehe~!! Since yesterday I received sms n calls wishing me happy birthday..make me so gan dung~ My frens aka my customer gives 2 piggies!! 1 small n 1 big one with strawberries on its hands...Kawaii ne~ My tears omost flow out~ I donno she even remember my b'day! Then my lao po (hui Lian) give me a box of "Monokuro boo" piggies~ I am so happy I hugged her there! Muaks u guys! Love u.. 
Then we went to MV go kai-kai... they treated me Korean Foods, n I am having fun! Oh, not choosing clothes for baby parts, find it a bit boring~ But I got choose a pair of clothes for Jimmy's sister newborn baby gal~ Sorry ah~ Altot it is too big, but I know it got use for later one ^^ The baby is so cute n so small~~~
But he didnt even wish me happy b'day... I felt sad this morning, thinking about him didnt give me a call or sms within this 3 days... I went to look 4 him, n c him sitting in the house, planning to go out later wid his family and wat he told me that he didnt c his fon this few days... Ok, done. I am sad n angry~ I cant believe that he treated me this way, n for me it is cruel to t
reat his gf like tat? Or maybe I am the one who fantasy being his gf? I don feel like one oso, n I cry this morning.. cry n cry.. y he did this to me on this very speacial day~
HOORAY!! One year older, n 6 more years to go to my golden years...
Then we went to MV go kai-kai... they treated me Korean Foods, n I am having fun! Oh, not choosing clothes for baby parts, find it a bit boring~ But I got choose a pair of clothes for Jimmy's sister newborn baby gal~ Sorry ah~ Altot it is too big, but I know it got use for later one ^^ The baby is so cute n so small~~~
But he didnt even wish me happy b'day... I felt sad this morning, thinking about him didnt give me a call or sms within this 3 days... I went to look 4 him, n c him sitting in the house, planning to go out later wid his family and wat he told me that he didnt c his fon this few days... Ok, done. I am sad n angry~ I cant believe that he treated me this way, n for me it is cruel to t
reat his gf like tat? Or maybe I am the one who fantasy being his gf? I don feel like one oso, n I cry this morning.. cry n cry.. y he did this to me on this very speacial day~
I did something wrong?
It has been 2 days after that nite that I didn't received any messages from him.. no calls, no sms....
And in these 2 days I am sitting alone in the house, thinking what he is doing rite now?
I miss him a lot, really a lot, wondering whether did he miss me too? I stared at the ceiling, thinking the days we spend together since he came back, and I still find it awkward to be with him, without being myself after all? Where is my REAL self, I asked myself...
N 2day I went to Pasar Malam, wondering if I cud see him around, and knowing that I am wasting my time, I knew that I wont get to see him at the pasar malam, but still I didnt put my hope down till it is time to go back home. 1 round, 2 rounds, 3 rounds, even I walked 4 the 4th round, I still cant see him, so I went back home without any foods in my stomach, feeling not hungry at all & sad..
Y I didnt make a move 1st to sms/call him? i do not dare... I am afraid that I will disturb him during his times wid his family, I am afraid I will make him uncomfortable when he is wid his friends. I knew these 2 weeks stay is to accompany his mother & to spend more time with her, so I tried to keep my hands wrapped to myself, trying not to call/sms him, looking at the phone each times, afraid there is a call tat I missed. I cant stop myself thinking about him, and 2nite I only send him a "I miss u" note.. but he didnt even reply me.
Am I am too annoying? I did ask myself, whether am I disturbing someone to get myself in the center of attention? I do not know about that, but I only knew that time is short, n I want to spend more time with him and I do not know that it's overwhelm me.....
2 more days, going to b my birthday. I declined all the invitations, just to wait for him to invite me to get it celebrate with him. And I think My 1st b'day with him is only just a dream... =(
And in these 2 days I am sitting alone in the house, thinking what he is doing rite now?
I miss him a lot, really a lot, wondering whether did he miss me too? I stared at the ceiling, thinking the days we spend together since he came back, and I still find it awkward to be with him, without being myself after all? Where is my REAL self, I asked myself...
N 2day I went to Pasar Malam, wondering if I cud see him around, and knowing that I am wasting my time, I knew that I wont get to see him at the pasar malam, but still I didnt put my hope down till it is time to go back home. 1 round, 2 rounds, 3 rounds, even I walked 4 the 4th round, I still cant see him, so I went back home without any foods in my stomach, feeling not hungry at all & sad..
Y I didnt make a move 1st to sms/call him? i do not dare... I am afraid that I will disturb him during his times wid his family, I am afraid I will make him uncomfortable when he is wid his friends. I knew these 2 weeks stay is to accompany his mother & to spend more time with her, so I tried to keep my hands wrapped to myself, trying not to call/sms him, looking at the phone each times, afraid there is a call tat I missed. I cant stop myself thinking about him, and 2nite I only send him a "I miss u" note.. but he didnt even reply me.
Am I am too annoying? I did ask myself, whether am I disturbing someone to get myself in the center of attention? I do not know about that, but I only knew that time is short, n I want to spend more time with him and I do not know that it's overwhelm me.....
2 more days, going to b my birthday. I declined all the invitations, just to wait for him to invite me to get it celebrate with him. And I think My 1st b'day with him is only just a dream... =(
Action is diff from wat u have said
Sometimes, I am so stupid when I told other ppl about my love life.. to tell u the truth, I am not always tell the truth to my frens.. I hide some of it or even tell half true~
Like how good is my ex-bf? I always tell ppl how good he is, n how he treat me when dating, da part of how good he is are true, but how he treat me in dating, I even tell lies to myself, to pursuade myself~
I told my frens that I saw his parents already, it's a lie, I only saw his mother once, n only his sisters...
I told my frens that we 2 always go out together when I visited him, n hold hands, but all not true... we always stuck in cyber cafe and never hold hands unless we are alone...
I told my frens that he got came her and visited me b4, but he never once come her and visit me!
It's a good news to some1 who hear it, but never been a good news to someone who is doing it.
I hate it when that guy said he didnt mind how i look, but still afraid of wat ppl will think about us when we go out,
I hate it when that guy never ans my call or sms, when I know he is free,
I Hate it when that guy hide something from me,
i hate it when I'll be the one who 1st make da move,
I love to be loved by some1 and love me for who i am, not choosing me to be who u want. When I giving u more attention doesnt mean I am going to do whatever u want, but jus wanna let u know tat I want to be in ur world, n I want u to be in mine~ Not jus u care only for me, but in the end, telling me that I am not care about u all along da relationship~
Loving someone is not only from one side, but from both side. Both need to sacrifice something to share this bit of happiness, and a bit of sadness. I will love u oways, n I shall be love by u too...
Love is something that u cannot predict, n u never shall know what is going to happen next.
To that someone that i love,
I am happy that we're together, but the times we spend together is not long enough to share how this relationship is feel. When i always tell u my past, I jus wanna let u feel jealous, than feeling nothing instead. When I told u that I am ready to take in a new relationship, n I am real about it. I really want to start a new life with u, n share our life together. I hope one day I got a chance to tell u "Ilove u" in real person than saying out here, without knowing u read it or not..
Dear,
I love u....
Like how good is my ex-bf? I always tell ppl how good he is, n how he treat me when dating, da part of how good he is are true, but how he treat me in dating, I even tell lies to myself, to pursuade myself~
I told my frens that I saw his parents already, it's a lie, I only saw his mother once, n only his sisters...
I told my frens that we 2 always go out together when I visited him, n hold hands, but all not true... we always stuck in cyber cafe and never hold hands unless we are alone...
I told my frens that he got came her and visited me b4, but he never once come her and visit me!
It's a good news to some1 who hear it, but never been a good news to someone who is doing it.
I hate it when that guy said he didnt mind how i look, but still afraid of wat ppl will think about us when we go out,
I hate it when that guy never ans my call or sms, when I know he is free,
I Hate it when that guy hide something from me,
i hate it when I'll be the one who 1st make da move,
I love to be loved by some1 and love me for who i am, not choosing me to be who u want. When I giving u more attention doesnt mean I am going to do whatever u want, but jus wanna let u know tat I want to be in ur world, n I want u to be in mine~ Not jus u care only for me, but in the end, telling me that I am not care about u all along da relationship~
Loving someone is not only from one side, but from both side. Both need to sacrifice something to share this bit of happiness, and a bit of sadness. I will love u oways, n I shall be love by u too...
Love is something that u cannot predict, n u never shall know what is going to happen next.
To that someone that i love,
I am happy that we're together, but the times we spend together is not long enough to share how this relationship is feel. When i always tell u my past, I jus wanna let u feel jealous, than feeling nothing instead. When I told u that I am ready to take in a new relationship, n I am real about it. I really want to start a new life with u, n share our life together. I hope one day I got a chance to tell u "Ilove u" in real person than saying out here, without knowing u read it or not..
Dear,
I love u....
Thursday, July 5, 2007
At last he is HERE!!
2day is the day he is coming back to malaysia~ n I am nervous to wait till 2molo.. which is the 1st day we are going out dating as a couple.. Hehe~ Donno y, it make me very nervous, I had went out with him so many many times, and never indeed i felt like this b4~ (dup-dup!)* heart beat faster*
Hope nth happens 2molo~~ O.O
Yea~ I received a letter 2day request me to go for interview!! But.... too badd..... it is in singapore which I need to go there to attend it, but the time is not correct. I oso donno how to response it with proper words... so I ask my dad for help~ Thanks dad!! U're the best! Muaks!
I hope she can tolerate with me and agreed on that day~ O.O
(stupid chair, i cannot sit comfortablely facing the screen, my neck is so damn tired )
Hope nth happens 2molo~~ O.O
Yea~ I received a letter 2day request me to go for interview!! But.... too badd..... it is in singapore which I need to go there to attend it, but the time is not correct. I oso donno how to response it with proper words... so I ask my dad for help~ Thanks dad!! U're the best! Muaks!
I hope she can tolerate with me and agreed on that day~ O.O
(stupid chair, i cannot sit comfortablely facing the screen, my neck is so damn tired )
Sunday, July 1, 2007
WelCom3 To PiGgY's wOrLd!!!
Hi EveryOne!!
I am new User To This blogspot, n WelCome to PigGy's world~!!!
This is where I will share mostly of my dark secrets n I hope u will keep it 4 me~ ^^
I am new User To This blogspot, n WelCome to PigGy's world~!!!
This is where I will share mostly of my dark secrets n I hope u will keep it 4 me~ ^^
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